Decisions

I think I have made a few big decisions tonight. I'll start with how I made these decisions first.
It snowed, again. So after I got home from school and sat around all evening, mom decided she wanted to go see Norma. So we got in the van and went to their house around 7:30ish. We all talked and everyone was at the table, and then everyone disappeared except for Jenny, mom, Norma, and me. Jenny is going to prom with me:) I am so excited about that. Emilee isn't going anymore I guess... she said she doesn't want to because she didn't find a dress. We are going dress shopping for her sometime soon. I have to buy tickets soon, since it is in like 3 weeks or something. I need shoes too. Then we talked about how Jenny went to visit App and she is applying and stuff. And she wants me to go and I refused at first, but she talked me into going on a tour with her for a weekend and she showed me all these booklets about it and stuff and I am actually considering it(big decision #1.) Then I saw that they had a Communications Disorder program and that was what I was thinking about doing, but Elizabeth City doesn't offer it. Then I can get my graduate in speech pathology. I think that might be a sign that I should apply there for the spring(big decision #2.) I have to load up on classes in the fall to finish my associate. But I think it will be worth it. It won't be near you though, which is what I wanted. But at least I will only have two years there.  And it is still close to my family, even though I wanted to get away from them lol. I think I can handle them though. I just feel kind of good about it. I think this is the most solid decision making I have done in a while. So far, so good. We didn't leave Jenny's until a little after midnight. So I am beat, but I wanted to tell you all of this stuff.
By the way, Jenny is such a cute pregnant person. You should see her. She is just adorable. I missed her. I'm glad she is going to prom with me so we can catch up again.

I miss you, more than anything in the world. I hope you never have to leave like this again, even though I know that is just my wishful thinking. I don't know if it is because I am so anti-social or what, but I just feel lonely. I feel happy when I write these blogs because I think about you and I'm sure you think I am stupid when I write some of it, and that makes me laugh because I can just imagine the comments you would have making fun of me if I were telling you in person. And I am pretty sure that was a run on sentence. But it's a blog so I don't care. None of this is right, I write so awful when I blog. Anyway, when I am not writing these blogs or doing something that makes me constantly think of you, I put myself in a bad mood. I have become a big gossiper since you left too. Usually I just tell you everything and I get it out and then I don't tell anyone else. Well now I don't have you to tell anything to whenever I have to tell someone and I end up talking about it to other people, who tell other people that I was talking about them, and then they get mad and say something to someone else, and it is just a big mess. I try to keep my mouth shut and not talk about anyone anymore. I am going to have such bad karma now. All of these bad things are going to start happening to me soon, I know it. After all the gossiping I have done, I probably deserve for something to go wrong in my life. I really think I have become an awful person. Just very irritable, cranky, and whatnot. I would hate me if I were other people. I would love to just go somewhere and get away from everyone for a little. Spring Break is next week, like the 10th through the 14th and I would love to go to Delaware. I know I probably won't, but I would like to. I think I just need a break from everyone at school, and in my house. Maybe I am just pitying myself. I don't know. I guess I am going to go to sleep, I don't think we are going to have a delay tomorrow. So goodnight.
I love you.