For the most part

Today was an okay day. Work was alright.
All I really have to say today is that I miss you a lot... And that you better not be looking for any prostitutes. haha. Not that they would stick around long enough anyway, because you would probably talk to much. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only girl that could put up with your excessive bull crap talk and your "know-it-all" attitude:) lol. I love that about you though, most of the time anyway. But I really do miss you a lot. I love you, Goodnight.

I think I might die

I ran for like ever tonight, and I think my feet are going to fall off. I'm so sleepy and last night I didn't get any sleep at all. I fell asleep around 1 and just kept waking up all night. I fell asleep in Psychology today. I talked to Isaac too. I heard a commercial for laser hair removal today, and I thought about it. I want that done to my entire body, except my head of course. But in all seriousness, I really want it done. I would love to never have to shave my legs again. It's not like I ever do anyway, but on the days I do.. I wouldn't even have to worry about it.  I haven't talked to you in over a week now. I miss you a lot. 

I just realized I have a little mole or freckle or something next to my belly button. I'm just laying in bed with my teddy bear, listening to my iPod and not doing the 6 page paper that I have to have a rough draft for by Friday, but oh well. I think I need to get some sleep so that I am not falling asleep in my classes tomorrow. I don't pay attention anyway, but I would rather be awake. 

I love you so much.

Delaware

So, I guess I will start with how my spring break went. Delaware was alright, I mean we had fun and all, and spent too much money. But it was nasty and rainy. The neighborhood flooded, and it was awful. It looked like a giant pond. I realized that being my little truck for 9 hours makes me feel claustrophobic. I ate too much food. I actually ate breakfast for like 3 days in a row. I never eat breakfast. My Grammie is all about breakfast. I went for a 3 mile bike ride with Emilee and we played volley ball. So we got some exercise. I had a little road rage fit because some stupid girl kept riding my butt and was an awful driver. There is a picture of me on Facebook while I was complaining about how bad her driving was. My arm is sore because me and Emilee hit each other every time we saw a Volkswagen Beetle and PT Cruisers. I'm pretty sure after a few hours my arm just went numb and I couldn't even feel it anymore. I bought some boat shoes. Not Sperrys because they were crazy expensive. I got two pairs at the Bass outlet. They were on sale for 50% off. The lady at the counter gave me 10% off too because I asked her about a coupon and they didn't have any, but she said she would put it in anyway. So I got both pairs for 65 bucks. I got a tan pair and a navy blue pair. They are pretty comfy. I got a bunch of cute shirts and some dresses, for like 2 bucks a piece at Rue 21, Charlotte Russe, and K-mart. I was excited.
I miss you though, more than anything in the world. I guess I have to go back to finding things to keep me busy again now that I am back at home. I am thinking about moving to Delaware for the summer and getting a job. I don't know yet though. It all depends.
I love you sweetheart.

No title.

I couldn't think of a title for this blog. I am not sure how I am feeling right now. I was happy today, but now I feel miserable. Not "I hate my life" miserable, but like the kind of miserable where my body just feels like it doesn't want to move and I'm pretty sure I have a fever. My face is bright red and hot. I am still happy, but I feel sleepy and sick. Hopefully I don't feel like this in the morning, but at least it is Friday.

Goodnight.

Decisions

I think I have made a few big decisions tonight. I'll start with how I made these decisions first.
It snowed, again. So after I got home from school and sat around all evening, mom decided she wanted to go see Norma. So we got in the van and went to their house around 7:30ish. We all talked and everyone was at the table, and then everyone disappeared except for Jenny, mom, Norma, and me. Jenny is going to prom with me:) I am so excited about that. Emilee isn't going anymore I guess... she said she doesn't want to because she didn't find a dress. We are going dress shopping for her sometime soon. I have to buy tickets soon, since it is in like 3 weeks or something. I need shoes too. Then we talked about how Jenny went to visit App and she is applying and stuff. And she wants me to go and I refused at first, but she talked me into going on a tour with her for a weekend and she showed me all these booklets about it and stuff and I am actually considering it(big decision #1.) Then I saw that they had a Communications Disorder program and that was what I was thinking about doing, but Elizabeth City doesn't offer it. Then I can get my graduate in speech pathology. I think that might be a sign that I should apply there for the spring(big decision #2.) I have to load up on classes in the fall to finish my associate. But I think it will be worth it. It won't be near you though, which is what I wanted. But at least I will only have two years there.  And it is still close to my family, even though I wanted to get away from them lol. I think I can handle them though. I just feel kind of good about it. I think this is the most solid decision making I have done in a while. So far, so good. We didn't leave Jenny's until a little after midnight. So I am beat, but I wanted to tell you all of this stuff.
By the way, Jenny is such a cute pregnant person. You should see her. She is just adorable. I missed her. I'm glad she is going to prom with me so we can catch up again.

I miss you, more than anything in the world. I hope you never have to leave like this again, even though I know that is just my wishful thinking. I don't know if it is because I am so anti-social or what, but I just feel lonely. I feel happy when I write these blogs because I think about you and I'm sure you think I am stupid when I write some of it, and that makes me laugh because I can just imagine the comments you would have making fun of me if I were telling you in person. And I am pretty sure that was a run on sentence. But it's a blog so I don't care. None of this is right, I write so awful when I blog. Anyway, when I am not writing these blogs or doing something that makes me constantly think of you, I put myself in a bad mood. I have become a big gossiper since you left too. Usually I just tell you everything and I get it out and then I don't tell anyone else. Well now I don't have you to tell anything to whenever I have to tell someone and I end up talking about it to other people, who tell other people that I was talking about them, and then they get mad and say something to someone else, and it is just a big mess. I try to keep my mouth shut and not talk about anyone anymore. I am going to have such bad karma now. All of these bad things are going to start happening to me soon, I know it. After all the gossiping I have done, I probably deserve for something to go wrong in my life. I really think I have become an awful person. Just very irritable, cranky, and whatnot. I would hate me if I were other people. I would love to just go somewhere and get away from everyone for a little. Spring Break is next week, like the 10th through the 14th and I would love to go to Delaware. I know I probably won't, but I would like to. I think I just need a break from everyone at school, and in my house. Maybe I am just pitying myself. I don't know. I guess I am going to go to sleep, I don't think we are going to have a delay tomorrow. So goodnight.
I love you.

job

I think things are starting to get better. I possibly have a new job:) Once I fill out the application. And I will be working with Jenny. So maybe we will be reunited lol. I hope so. She left me a comment on myspace today and said she missed me. She text me and told me she is getting me an application and can probably hook me up. Since she is now a night manager. I will get a lot more hours than I do now. So I guess I can't complain today. Well, actually.. I had to get two brackets on my braces taken off and moved today. That hurt pretty bad. One of the wires got stuck on my lip and I have a nasty sore now. That hurt even worse.
I have been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. Mostly college, because it is stressing me out. I have no clue what I want to do anymore. I don't know where I want to go or anything. I hate being such an indecisive person. I keep finding so many negative things when I start thinking about what I want to go to school for. I still have about a year to make a set decision, but still, its hard. I've been thinking about you, and how I was reminded that I told you I wouldn't marry you if you didn't learn how to manage your money. Which is kind of true, but honestly, I probably would whether you do or not. I would deal with your money problems and fix them for you when we got married. Lol. I've been stressing about my job, just because I am so annoyed that I don't have any hours. Which means no money. I haven't even started saving up for insurance yet, and I still haven't gotten full coverage on my truck, because my POS dad hasn't sent any money. Hopefully Jenny can get me a job with her, because I hate having to ask for money, which is why I am probably broke. Lol. My mom gave me some gas money the other week because I did something for her. I gave Jody like a third of my pay check for my phone and then most of what was left went for gas. I get paid in like 6 days so I don't have anything to worry about, I just like to stress and worry about things I guess. I wouldn't be me if I didn't. I just don't like depending on other people to help me. I feel like I should be able to pay for my own stuff.
I was also pretty pissed off today, I was on my way back from the orthodontist and I haven't had a Rita's since the last time we went together. I have been craving one so bad. But I just haven't had the gas to drive there to get one or they were closed when I was already in Hickory. I had a few bucks from tip money the other night that I saved just to stop and get a Rita's on my way home today. I parked, got out of my truck, and then realized I left that money at home in the pocket of my work pants.
Don't tell Aunt Lena I said anything about my money. I don't need anything and she will tell me I should have told her if I was broke and needed something.
Well, I think it is my bed time. So I love you bunches and I miss you a lot.
mwuah.

This is me

I get these emails of these cute little daily quotes with a little cartoon. They are really adorable and cute. This morning it said "Anything is possible on this adventure called life, so she put on her backpack and headed for the hills. Soon, however, she got tired. She went home and had a gorgeous hot bath and then watched an amazing nature program on tv."
I'm pretty sure that would be me;)

Cute

I don't have anyone to tie my shoes for me anymore:(
I just realized this and I am very upset about it. Haha. But really. Work was alright tonight. Wayne is beginning to make me think he is gay. I know he is kidding, but gah, I was telling him about the guy in our volley ball class that Emilee thinks is cute, and he was like "I think he is a cute guy." I laughed for at least 5 minutes and I was like "are you serious?" and he told me he thought that guy was a stud and he wanted to look like that. Then he asked me if I thought he was cute and I just laughed and he told me I was a jerk and walked away.
I'm kind of cold tonight. My heater is on, but isn't doing much good. I am so tired. I guess I should go to bed so that I might actually have a chance of being on time for school tomorrow.
I love you babe.

I just want you know that I think you are amazing. Please don't be conceited about it and act like you know you are. Every time I try to tell you that seriously, you joke and say you know you are. I just want you to actually listen to me and take it to heart when I say stuff like that instead of making a joke out of it.
I love you and I miss you so much. I miss your phone calls. I miss you kissing me all over my face. I miss you holding my hand. I miss your bad driving. I miss hearing you say that you love me. I miss cuddling with you in my bed until 2 in the morning. I miss you holding me. I miss you massaging my hands. I just miss you being here.

coffee and cookies.

Yesterday sucked pretty bad. School was alright. The gym was awful. I have neverbeen so sore in my life, and my legs have never burned so bad while working out. I seriously felt like someone threw me into fire. We worked on arms and legs yesterday. My knee was hurting and last night it was swollen. I iced it and it feels fine today. We can't workout today because the gym is closed until monday because they are repainting. I am getting muscles! I worked with Wayne one day last week and I told him I was getting big manly muscles and he laughed at me. And then he told me that since I had such big muscles, I could carry all the trash by myself.. and I did. He carried one box. Anyway, back to yesterday. I did like 10 miles on the bike, Emilee left before I was done. So I finished and went to TCBY to get some dinner because I had to go straight to class. I got no sugar added strawberry and vanilla with a little no sugar added hot fudge(even though I hate chocolate it was alright) and no sugar added whipped cream, which is so much better than regular whipped cream. Class was so long and boring. It lasted forever. Last night I layed in bed forever and Maddie kept whining. She was so annoying. So I grabbed her mouth and held it shut until she quit. I felt bad and I let called her up in bed with me. Oh, it's picture day. I forgot about it, so I am not having my picture done. I mean, not that I don't look good or anything, but there is no point in me walking down there when I am not buying them anyway. And I am wearing sweatpants and a fleece Jacket. Someone almost hit my new truck yesterday. I would have gotten out and beat her if she did. She almost pulled out and hit the front of me. Kind of like the guy that pulled out and hit my back door in my car that one time. She pulled out into my lane and just sat there, she didn't even back up. I had to brake because she would have hit me if I didn't, and then I had to go around her. I have been doing pretty good about my eating and working out, so I had a craving for cookies this morning. I got a coffee, it is really strong, and some cookies. And the sad thing is that will probably be the highlight of my day.
 I love you babe.

Better mood

Talking to you tonight put my in a better mood. But then it went away after we hung up. Haha, wow... Am I really such a pessimist all the time? I mean seriously. I feel like all I ever do is complain and say negative things. I know you have told me that before, but I thought you were kidding. I am starting to learn, or realize, a lot more about myself now that you are gone and I don't have anyone to talk to all the time. I talk to myself a lot. Actually, it is things that I want to say to you. So I say them to myself so that I can remember them later. Even though we all know that doesn't help me remember any more than usual.  I am really happy that I got to talk to you though. I got kind of upset when I miss your calls earlier today. I went to the bathroom because I almost started to cry a little bit. And I didn't want anyone to see that, because I don't cry in front of other people. I miss you more than anything. It feels like it has been forever and a day since you left, and you really haven't been gone that long. I feel a more independent without you here, I have to tie my own shoes now... hahaha ;)  But I just feel like I am trying to do everything by myself, I guess I just want to feel a little more important. I'm not looking for any kind of attention by any means, because I would rather everyone just let me stay in my little anti-social bubble that I have been in. I like not talking to as many people. I haven't had much drama at all. I actually don't think I have had any. Yeah, people have pissed me off or gotten on my nerves, but that is nothing compared to what I had to put up with last year. I like this a lot better. There is no one in my business or talking about me behind my back, well they probably do, but I don't really care either way. So I guess I could consider myself a happy person. Well I would consider myself a happy person if you were here. I would say I am neutral right now. I am not overly happy, but I am not depressed or anything either. I am just content and trying to stay busy. For someone who doesn't care about much right now and wants to be anti-social, I sure do write a lot at a time.
I hope you know that I love you more than anything and I miss you.
Mwuah.

I feel a little down and out today. I drove to church today, I left a little early so I could go to the Hess station to get gas. I filled up my gas tank, got a coffee, and headed to church. After church I came home and made a turkey sandwich for lunch. Then I crawled into my bed and fell asleep until I had to get up and go to work at 3. Wayne took his girlfriend out today since she wasn't here for Valentine's Day. So I worked for him from 3 to 5, and then I continued to work until 9:30 tonight. It was a long day. We were so busy. People were so cranky today, every couple I saw through the drive through looked so miserable. I just wanted to yell at them to be happy. People have just been annoying me the past few days. Just with their attitudes and how they think that people owe them something and that the entire world should be at their feet. And I guess that if you never left I wouldn't feel this way, but it is annoying me that I hear girls in my class complain that their boyfriends text them too much and they sound like they don't really appreciate them. I don't pay attention to the actual class, I listen to everyone's side conversations. I'm so nosey, but anyway, it kind of makes me mad because I would give anything in the world to be able to talk to you or see you. I'm sure that I have done things that make me seem like I take you for granted and I just kind of expect things in our relationship. I wish I didn't act like that, but I didn't realize I did until I started watching other people. I really have a lot of time on my hands, a lot more than I thought I did. I do a lot of people watching now. Mostly couples. Sometimes weird people. I kind of despise happy couples right now. I just hate seeing them. Not because I am not happy, but because I can't be happy with you. I am kind of on my own for now and I can't just be with you and laugh and have fun with you.

I miss you

more than you can imagine. I wish I could just sleep until you come home. I am so sick of school and classes and dealing with people. I just hate being around most people. That makes me sound very anti-social, but I guess I am being that way. I just want everyone to leave me alone and quit talking to me. I am sick of hearing about everyone and their gossip. I just want to punch a few people and maybe they will get the hint to leave me alone. I just miss you, and I love you so much.

The last post was from a few days ago, but I forgot to post it then. Maddie is really pissing me off. The stupid dog won't quit whining while I sleep. She is being good tonight, for now. Today was alright. Gym went ok, we had a tag along with us and she was getting on my nerves. I drove my truck around pretty much all day. Around Lenoir, to Aunt Lena's, the gym, night class. It was an okay day. I miss you more than you can even imagine though. I don't have much to say today, I am actually really tired. I just wanted to get some of my day down so I can remember it when I write you another letter. Even though I have 3 of them that I still haven't sent yet. :(
I will put them in the mailbox first thing in the morning though. I promise.
I love you.

bad day

I can honestly say that this is the worst day I have had in a while. I have been so moody and I just feel awful today. I hate everything, especially me. I haven't cried in a while either, today I broke that streak. I went to Hickory with mom and we did some shopping. She bought me a dress and some shoes, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. We ate lunch. We walked around every store in the hickory. The last place we went to was Target. I tried on a really cute bikini. That was the last straw piling on top of my already emotional self. I looked so awful. I wanted it because it was cute, but I just looked so fat and ugly and awful. So my mom said to wait and get it when she had money and I told her I didn't want it at all because I looked awful. Then we got in the car and I just started crying and I cried all the way home. I haven't really been doing well on my eating healthy thing. I mean I haven't been going crazy, but this weekend I ate some bad stuff. And I think I am getting my period soon, so that is probably another reason why I hate everything right now. I found a truck, its a 2004 Nissan Frontier. It is a champagne color, extended cab, 36,000 miles, BUT its a stick. So I guess I am going to learn how to drive a stick now. Because it is cheap and I want it.

Valentine's Day

Okay, I know this is a day late. But I felt awful yesterday, so I didn't get on here. I just wanted to let you know that you mean the world to me and I love you so much. You make me so happy. I miss you so much. You make me smile and laugh. I don't like you being so far away from me, but it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I am more bored than anything. Aunt Lena called me from your phone one day and for a second i forgot you were gone and I was kind of excited that my phone was ringing and it said it was from you. So that was a bit of a let down. I can't believe you have only been gone for 3 weeks. It feels so much longer... I wish it would go by faster, because I can't wait to see you. I have to go to class now. Oh and its snowing... again. hmph. I love you. Mwuah.

I am surprised

The past few days have been pretty great. I said something mean about Kendra today, and I shouldn't have said it, but I know it will probably get back to her. I hope it doesn't because I don't want to hear it. Anyway, I'm not worried about it because I'm not talking about her anymore. So I don't really care. I have better things to talk about. I worked out with Emilee today and my shoulders are killing me now. We got in the hot tub, and 3 of the guys that were there yesterday came and chilled with us a little. One of them is really nerdy looking, kind of like napoleon dynamite. The tattoo guy left early and Emilee was sad. The other guys keep checking her out too. They don't even look at me lol. Probably because I talk about you all the time:) They are pretty cool though, they all wanted to hang out and watch the Duke and Carolina game tonight, but I wouldn't go hang out with a bunch of guys. So the two of us watched it at Emilee's house. After church tonight I picked up some pizzas and then picked her up from church. We went to her house, we had the house to ourselves so we ate pizza, talked, and watched the game. It was a really good game. Duke won, so I was happy and Emilee was pissed off. I feel a lot more confident and better about myself now that I am working out. I don't know why, because I am pretty sure my body still looks exactly the same. Especially after everything I ate this weekend. I might be losing something, because my ring is getting a little loose on me now.  I'll probably have to get it sized again eventually if it gets too loose. I have to go to the gym by myself tomorrow because I have to work from 2 to 5, the usual gym time. Then I have class as 6. So I won't be home at all tomorrow. I have to go to school, go to the gym, then to work, then to class, then I should be home around 9:30, or earlier if my teacher decides to let us out early but that never happens. I just want you to know that I miss you so much and I hate you not being here. It's not really a big deal, like I don't want you to feel bad about it or anything, but I hate not having someone to talk to nonstop. You're always the person that I can just talk and talk and talk to forever. Emilee told me I talk too much, so I am trying not to talk as much, because I realized that I really don't shut up, ever. I don't know how you stand listening to me for so long. If I were someone else I would tell myself to shut up for five minutes. I am pretty excited about going to the beach this summer. So far it is me, Emilee, Jorden, and Amber. I don't know who else is going to go yet. We don't really want Macie to go, because she will want to go out and flirt with guys and stuff the whole time, and I obviously won't be doing that. And Emilee doesn't want to put up with her the whole time. Lol. I always write these really late at night when I start falling asleep. I guess that means it's bedtime. I love you more than anything.♥

Yesterday(continuted)

So yesterday at the gym, Emilee found a new man. She is over Adam, the hot lifeguard that works there. We did weights and stuff for a little, but Emilee had a bad headache so we quit after the weights. We got in the hot tub and then this guy got in with us. He had a tattoo down his side, and another one on the other side. You are getting a tattoo down your side, because it would be really sexy on you;) Anyway, he started talking to us and asked if we had boyfriends and stuff, and I told him I did. And we just talked about school and different stuff. Then another guy, that was working out when we were, came down and got in the hot tub. And he joined our conversation, and then two more guys came down, and I was like geez its like a swarm of guys. They all knew each other and me and Emilee started our own converstation because we didn't know what they were talking about. After a while we got out and they asked if we were leaving and Emilee told them we were. So the guy with the tattoos looked at Emilee was said, "you should put my number in your phone and maybe we can hang out sometime. Just text me so I have your number and we can do something." I had to walk out the door because I almost started laughing. We can't go anywhere without her getting someone's number. I don't think she ever did text him tough. After the gym we went to Aunt Lena's for a little bit to chit chat. Then we went to Subway to get dinner, and talked, well I talked and Emilee told me I talk a lot and you shouldn't be mad when I give you silent treatments because you should be glad for the breaks in between my talking. We went to her house and watched American Idol and played with her new puppy. Then I went home and went to sleep.

Today was good. I don't have much to complain about, unfortunately. lol. I didn't really do much today at all. I didn't pay attention in any classes today. Well, I really only had english and volleyball, a lab, and office assistant. I had to do some stupid crap in the office today. I got hit in the face with a volleyball today too. I came home and made ground turkey and put it on pita bread. I got changed and picked Emilee up. I forgot my check at home so I had to go back to the house to get it because I was broke and I needed some money for the gym. I'm not broke anymore thank God. I will tell you about the rest of my day later, I can't keep my eyes open and I have a headache. Hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight, unlike the past two night. I love you babe. Goodnight.

New Car?

I just remembered the reason why I wanted to blog in the first place, but I forgot to say it in my last blog. I have been looking at cars! We have to get my other wheel bearing or whatever fixed, because the other one is bad too. I am looking at a 2003 Toyota Matrix. It is blue and it's amazing. I am in love with it. The other one we were looking at is a Honda Accord, its like a 2003 I think, and it has a DVD player, heated seats, AND its a hybrid. It is gorgeous. I love that one too, but it is a little pricey. The Matrix 9,000, but Janee's uncle owns the car place and he said he would take 6,500 cash for it. I'm going to find it real quick so you can see what it looks like, it has a little dent on the side of the door but I'm okay with that.

  

    

I could have killed someone today

and I mean that with everything in me. I know that when things go wrong, it is my fault if I procrastinated. But I don't like things being my fault. Here is what happened: I dropped Austin off near his class and I had four one page journals to write about a freaking book I didn't read. So I skipped my lab and went to Bojangle's I got a tea and the corner booth. I got my laptop, the book I didn't read, and my notebook. I googled the questions and of course the freaking book isn't on Spark notes. So I BSed the journals and they sounded awful. I did two of them and Macie kept texting me asking me for the questions. There were like twelve questions and we had to pick four and I was not about to waste time texting her when I had to get my stuff done. I went to Psychology at nine and kept writing, after finishing two journals someone text me and told me that they weren't even due until Wednesday now, because we have missed so many days from the snow. I was glad. After that awful class I came home and started working on a paper I had to write for my business class that I have a six on Monday nights. I had a good three pages, a title page, and a reference page. I had to put it in APA format, I had no clue what the hell that is. It took me an hour to answer these stupid questions in this paper. It was really hard. I clicked the save button and it said error, so I tried again. It showed that it saved and I tried to attach it to an email so I could print it later. Well it wouldn't work and my paper disappeared. I tried to recover it, but it was completely gone. I was so pissed off. So I didn't get to go to the gym again today because I was rewriting my paper before I had to go to class. I got a shower before class because I felt kind of gross. When I got to class there was a wasp in the room and it landed on this lady's huge hair and then it started flying over me and Ray, the guy that sits next to me. We couldn't pay attention because this thing wouldn't quit flying over us. So we were laughing and stuff and I'm pretty sure our teacher got mad, but I did not want that thing flying over my head. I was so scared it was going to sting me. Now I am home and very sleepy. I'm sitting in bed listening to my iPod. I don't think I have had one day this past week where something hasn't gone wrong. Oh, and that paper about you... I got an 88 on it:) Macie was pissed off because she got a C on it and she was in a bad mood because of it. It was really funny. I miss you a whole lot babe, you don't even know. I really can't wait to see you again. I'm listening to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack now. Lol. I feel like a little kid. I left Maddie upstairs, so I should probably bring her down here before I fall asleep. She was mad at me last night. She was laying at the foot of my bed and she kept whining. I yelled at her and she got off the bed and kept whining, so I thought she had to pee. I took her out and she wouldn't pee. She wouldn't even leave the porch. I brought her back to my room and she got back up on the end of my bed and kept whining. I got in bed and got comfy and I called her up to lay next to me and she quit whining after she crawled up next to me. She is a sweetheart, you will like her. I really need to get some sleep though. I didn't sleep well last night, I love you so much sweetheart.
xoxo♥

Locked out

Today I had to go to English and take another quiz on the stupid book that I didn't read. I used Macie for answers. She skimmed through the book before class, Emilee copied her, and then I copied Emilee. I hung out with Emilee until she had to go to her next class and Macie sat with us. She is so freaking blonde. I will tell you about it later though, because I don't really want to put it on here. You will laugh. I came home and couldn't find anything to eat, so I used the leftover ground chicken and made scrambled eggs. Then I picked Emilee up and we went to the gym. We swam, and the old lifeguard man keeps telling us he wants us to take the lifeguard class. It is $150 to take it, so I think I will stick with my yogurt scooping job. We went to work out and I did 6 miles on the bike. Then we worked on our legs and abs. Everything on my body hurts right now. My legs hurt, I have that freaking bruise on my knee, my sides hurt, my shoulders hurt, and I have a blister on the back of my foot that looks disgusting and burns. I could have prevented the blister, if I washed clothes more often. I ran out of clothes and the only outfit I had left didn't match with any of my shoes except these tan heels. So I wore them to Billy's birthday thing and I regret not washing my clothes now. Anyway, I am just sore and I am being very whiney. After I left the gym I was going to come home and clean my room and then go to Buffalo's with Emilee and some other people. Well I walked in the door at 5:46 and realized that it was Thursday and that I had my Sociology class at 6. So I threw my shoes back on and ran out the door. I was late for class and we had a test, and I didn't have a scantron thing. I had to go to the bookstore to get one and I was in such a bad mood, I just started crying out of the blue. I went to the bathroom and made sure my eyes weren't red or anything, I looked like crap anyway because I didn't get to change or anything from working out. I took my test and it was pretty easy. Then I came home and it started snowing. Well, my house key was in Jody's car because when I dropped mine off at the shop I picked Jody's up and I had to give him my keys, so I took the house key off and put it in his car. I never put it back on my key chain when I got my car back. I checked all the doors and they were locked, and no one was home. I was so pissed off because no one would answer their phone. I got in my car and was complaining to myself and I started crying again. I don't think I have ever just cried like this for no reason. I finally just got sick of sitting in the car and I drove to Ingle's because I thought my mom might be there, and she was. I got the key from her and came home. Jordan came with me and she let Maddie out of Austin's room. Maddie ripped up Austin's carpet and chewed the molding off the side of the door. It was hilarious. Since then I have just been hanging around the house. I am getting ready to go to bed. Hopefully there will be a delay tomorrow, it has been sleeting since like 8 this evening. I love you and I miss you, so much.

Ridiculous

Today has been absolutely ridiculous. I went to school, skipped my 9 o'clock class only to find out that there was a two hour delay at the college anyway, so I could have just stayed home for that hour instead of sitting in Bojangle's with Austin. Austin and I sat in Bojangle's for an hour, making fun of people and gossiping. Then I went to English, which I should have skipped, and took a quiz on 8 chapters from a book I didn't read. She gave us not even a week to read it and then told us we didn't have to have it done until Friday. Instead she just decided to screw everyone over and give us quizzes. Yesterday it was on part one, but I didn't go to class yesterday and she won't let us retake it, she is just going to drop it. So I have that zero dropped, but I know I made like a 10 on the one today. It was short answer. So I gave bullshit answers. Everyone was so pissed off in class, and that kind of put me in a bad mood. Then I went home and I made ground chicken with green peppers and onions and put it in a wheat pita bread thing. It was alright, it tasted really healthy lol. But it was good enough. I drank a glass of V8 vegetable juice, and then I went to pick up Emilee from school at 2. We went to the gym and got in the hot tub and worked out and stuff. We left there around 5ish and I took her home. I got home and slacked for a little, got in the shower and then got ready for work. It was awful. I had to stop by the store to get milk and stuff, so I picked up a container of fresh pineapples for my dinner. Luckily I got to eat before we got horribly busy. I was so hungry. After I ate, people just kept flooding in the store. So Ashley and Caitlin took the front, and I did the drive through by myself and almost threw something at this stupid lady that kept arguing with me. She kept talking to me like I was stupid and I didn't know what I was talking about, so I got pissed off and kept arguing with her and got smart. Katy, Tyler's girlfriend, came in and she ended up talking to me forever. She had me laughing. I wanted to cry a lot today. Just because of my mood I guess. I just felt like I could start crying at any moment. I did on my way home from work, it was really stupid too. Some idiot didn't know how to use a turn signal and waited until the got right where they were supposed to turn to brake and I almost hit them. I was mad and I flashed my lights at them and called them some names and just started crying. I felt really stupid for crying from that too. I just wanted to kill everyone today. Maddie won't lay in bed with me either, and its making me mad. Oh, Jenny text me today and told me she found out she is having a boy and Josh is happy because all he wanted was a boy... I really need some sleep before I cry again or something. Goodnight. I love you so much.

I post too much

I just made this thing a few days ago and I have already posted so much. I just miss you a lot. I really hate not talking to you. Its my way of getting everything out, and today it has just been building up. Today sucked... Okay, I guess today really wasn't as bad as I am making it sound. I got my car today, and then mom followed me to Huffy's and we got split some fries for lunch. Then I went to TCBY because we had a surprise birthday thing for Billy. I thought it was at 5, so I got there and no one else was there except Melanie because she was working. She told me it wasn't until 6. So I text Wayne to make sure and he made fun of me, because I read the text he sent me wrong. I went to Walmart to get paper plates and stuff, and they don't have birthday hats there. I was pissed of, so I went to the Dollar store and they didn't have them there either. I was leaving and someone was beeping their horn like crazy and I was trying to figure out why. Later on Aunt Lena called me and said, "What the hell were you doing at the Dollar Tree." So I told her and she said she saw me and beeped.
I decided what I am doing for spring break. I am going to Delaware for the week, and I think Frank and Lauren might go with me. I don't want to drive that far by myself and Frank said that they are going anywhere and Lauren would be up for the drive. I feel so lonely right now. I'm pissed off because I never talk to Jenny anymore. I mean, SHE never talks to me anymore. I am friends with Emilee again, but she is still putting up with the Alesha crap and I don't want any part of it. She complains about her, but they are best friends or whatever. I am pretty much keeping my distance from a lot of people just because its so annoying hearing about the same crap all the time. I am content just having friends to hang out with, and work out with. I miss you though, I miss having you to talk to when I'm annoyed. I love you more than anything. Mwuah.

I couldn't think of a good title for this blog, so I left it titleless. I went to bed around 2ish this morning. I was up watching movies with mom all night. I was going to my room and I let Maddie out to pee so she wouldn't pee in my room. We have to put her on a rope because she runs off. I went back out to get her and she was wrapped around the bottom of the front porch. I was so tired and mad, I had to find my boots and go outside in the cold and snow to get her untangled from the pole and the plants. We got in my room and she decided to take over the entire bed. I tried to move her, but since she has only been here a few days I have been kind of nervous about that because I don't know if she will bite me or not. But I eventually slid her over so that I had some room on the bed. I crawled under the covers and Maddie snuggled closer to me under the covers. It was like having another person in my bed with me. I didn't get much sleep last night, and I kept waking Maddie up when I moved to get comfy. She demanded that my arm be under her head, like a pillow, because everytime I moved it she would get mad and find a way for her head to lay on my arm again. I thought about you all night. I could not fall asleep at all. Finally around 5 I started to fall asleep. Someone let Maddie out of my room around 6 and it startled me and I jumped. I went back to sleep and after a while Maddie came running into my room, jumped on my bed, and started licking my face. I forced her to lay down and stop licking me. She rolled over and cuddled with me and I went back to sleep. I finally woke up around 11 and got out of bed. I had a terrible headache. I got something to eat and sat around. I need to go wash my hair. Mom is going to take me to pick up my car, then I have to go to TCBY for a surprise party for Billy's birthday with everyone at work. Then I am going to the gym with Emilee. She always forgets to bring a towel with her, and I think she does it on purpose so that Adam can look at her body. Haha.
I love you and I miss you. A lot.

Hey darling,

We haven't talked in a few days. I miss you a lot. We didn't have school today, and the college was closed because some of the roads were really bad. We took Bailey, Maddie, and one of the cats to the vet today. Maddie had to get tested for heartworms and get her paw looked at. She doesn't have heartworms and the vet said to give her paw a week or so to heal and if it doesn't we might have to get it x-rayed. We bought Bailey and her matching collars. They are pink and glittery. I also bought her a sweater. It is so cute on her. She likes it. I know how much you hate dogs in clothes, but she looks adorable in it. I am in love with this dog. She is good company, and a good bed buddy. She stays in bed with me all night long and doesn't wake me up. She is lazy like me and likes to sleep. She is the perfect companion lol. I haven't been able to work out the past few days, because of the snow and not having a car. Tomorrow there is a two hour delay for the college, so I probably won't go because I only have one class. I have to go pick up my car tomorrow.
I really do miss you so much. This isn't as bad as I thought it would be. But then again, it has only been a week. I had another dream about you last night. I just hope you know how much I love you.

Snow

Babe, I really hate this snow. I thought it was pretty at first, but now that I am stuck in the house, and you aren't here to come rescue me, I just want it to go away. I still don't have my car back. I can't get my car back until this freaking snow starts to melt. I'm cleaning my room now. You would be proud of me because I can actually see my floor. Maddie laid in bed with me all night, she never moved. I snuggled with her and she kept me warm. I wish it were you I was snuggling with though. I don't know what else to do today, besides blog and clean. I miss you a lot.

One week

Tomorrow will be exactly one week since you left. I feel sad and a little lonely. I miss you a lot. I love you too. Which makes me feel happy. I just can't wait until you can come though. I am Xing out everday that has gone by since you left in my little calendar in my purse. It is like 2 in the morning, so I am going to cuddle up to Maddie in bed and go to sleep. I just want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world. Mwuah!

Hi lovely,

Basically, this blog is for you. So you know what I'm feeling, and how everything is going. It's pretty much the same as my other one. But I want it to be more personal. So that I have a place where I can feel like I'm talking to you, and when you get a chance you can read it and catch up on what is going on here and everything that you aren't missing. I love you.